#Unsettled

Maybe it’s the recent trip with my amazing girlfriends, or perhaps it’s the deep introspection ignited by starting this UnSettled journey, but lately, I’ve been consumed by the idea of being my true self, regardless of external opinions.

So many of us put on a mask. We play a role. We dim our light to fit in, to please others, to avoid judgment. Why? What are we so afraid of? I strive to live transparently, to cultivate a thick skin, and to not let others’ perceptions define me. Does it always work? Sometimes, the chatter still cuts through. But I make a valiant, daily effort to let it roll off.

Growing up with a parent in the public eye, there was always an unspoken expectation. My parents didn’t demand perfection, but rather instilled in us the importance of being ‘well-rounded individuals’ – always aware that someone was watching, listening, perhaps even waiting for a ‘slip-up’ to feed their own insecurities. It’s a sad reality that some people thrive on judgment.

I recall being acutely aware of this scrutiny, especially during middle and high school. Isn’t this a common theme for all of us? So many movies revolve around this very struggle: the agonizing pressure to be ‘perfect’ while battling crippling insecurity. It’s this very insecurity that often fuels toxic behavior in others, and I was often on the receiving end.

My family was deeply rooted in sports, and while I loved athletics, my heart was always drawn to the arts, to dance and theater. My girlfriends and I would stage elaborate plays for our parents, even charging admission! But at school, we faced constant ridicule, teasing, and name-calling. It got so bad that my own father taught me how to properly make a fist, just in case I ever had to defend myself. I felt constantly stifled, unable to simply be myself.

As I got older, I became guarded, allowing only a select few into my inner circle. My sister and cousins were my closest friends. But when I became an adult, and then a mother, I made a conscious decision: I would no longer care what others thought of me. If someone wanted to look down on me or make fun, I adopted the mindset that it was their issue, not mine.

Now, I see my own daughter, entering high school, experiencing similar struggles. And I drill it into her head: ‘It’s not you, honey, it’s them.’ I’m immensely proud that she embraces her inner free spirit, her ‘flower child’ self, but it truly saddens me that she, like so many, has had to develop such thick skin just to be comfortable in her own. This common thread, these emotional scars, can follow us into adulthood. While many of us eventually ‘outgrow’ the worst of it, some carry that burden for years.

For me, letting down my walls has been a journey. I consider myself a ‘cautious free-spirit’ – a ridiculous oxymoron, perhaps, but it perfectly captures my essence. I have a small, cherished group with whom I’m completely at ease, where my true colors fly without hesitation. As I entered my 40s, I made a firm decision to live as transparently and authentically as possible. Not just as an example for my children, but as a commitment to myself.

If you don’t like the ‘real’ me? Honestly, I don’t really care anymore. I’m tired of constantly being politically correct, of softening my edges. That’s a main reason why I started UnSettled – to champion the idea that it’s okay to live outside your comfort zone. To be silly. To be unfiltered. Who cares what others think?

Since embracing this ‘free’ outlook on life, I’m undeniably happier. I feel like I can finally breathe. Have some people distanced themselves? Yes. But I’ve come to realize those people weren’t meant to be in my life anyway. They were ‘hanger-ons,’ drawn by association with my family, not by genuine connection.

The silver lining of living authentically? I’ve forged unexpected, deeply fulfilling friendships with people I never thought would enter my circle. The universe has a remarkable way of weeding out the energy vampires and aligning you with your true people.

My message is simple: Don’t be afraid to be you. Don’t be afraid to let your walls down, because it’s truly amazing how the universe will clear out what doesn’t serve you and align you with the authentic connections you deserve.

Can you recall a time when you truly felt like your authentic self, regardless of others’ opinions? What did that feel like?

What’s the biggest fear holding you back from being unapologetically YOU?

#AuthenticSelf #BeYourself #SelfAcceptance #NoMoreMasks #UnSettled #EmpoweredWomen #LiveAuthentically #DontCareWhatTheyThink #PersonalGrowth #InnerFreedom #TrueSelf #UnapologeticallyMe #MindsetShift #FindYourTribe #YouAreEnough