#Unsettled

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the one in charge. The “cruise director,” the one who plans the family gatherings, organizes the trips, and coordinates dinner with friends. It’s a role that comes naturally to me, as I find a deep joy in bringing happiness to others. But for all the joy it brings, it can also be mentally taxing. It’s not the work itself that’s draining; it’s the constant pressure of trying to ensure everyone is enjoying themselves and are happy. 

No matter how meticulous the planning, how every detail is attended to, there’s always that one person who is unhappy. For years, this would rattle me. I’d lose confidence in my decisions and question my own intuition, something I rely on in my professional life as an event planner. A few years ago, I was hired to head up a corporate fundraiser. I worked with a small committee with the goal of turning a small event into something great. I’m proud to say we more than doubled their financial goal, but even as the event was a huge success, one person on the committee was my constant thorn, questioning my every decision and micromanaging every detail. The negativity was toxic, and at the end of my contract, I chose not to extend it.

That experience taught me the hardest lesson for a perfectionist to swallow: you will never be able to make everyone happy. The moment I finally accepted that, I realized it wasn’t me; it was them. Some people simply choose to be unhappy, and that is a burden I no longer have to carry. It taught me to preserve my own mental health and set clear boundaries.

I started applying this mindset to my personal life as well. Whether I’m with friends, my family, or my extended family, I’ve learned that I cannot please everyone. I am always open to suggestions, but I’m not a mind reader. It is not my fault if others choose not to speak up when given the chance. After I make a decision and communicate it, the ball is in their court. I learned to respectfully release myself from the burden of their complaints, because that is a weight I don’t have to carry.  As a result, I feel lighter, more peaceful, free.  I no longer allow that noise to rattle inside my head.

This shift hasn’t changed the quality of my work, but it has changed my life.  It has also helped me gracefully “weed out” unnecessary sources of negativity from my life.  At the end of the day, I want everyone to be happy, but not at the sacrifice of my own happiness.

Have you ever had to fire the “cruise director” in you?  What is one boundary you’ve had to set for your own mental health?  How do you deal with people who are a constant source of negativity?

Share your experience in the comments below.

#CruiseDirector #TheHardestLesson #SayingNo #ToughLessons #EmotionalWellness

#UnSettled  #ChooseYourself #KnowYourWorth #PersonalGrowth #FindYourJoy

#AuthenticLife #PeoplePleaser #SetBoundaries #MentalHealthMatters #SelfCare

#ItsNotYourBurden #LettingGo #PerfectionistProblems