#Unsettled

Over the summer, I was enjoying a summer day by the pool with some girlfriends and their teenage daughters. We were lounging, talking about the usual—life, careers, and the future. I asked the girls the universal question: What do you see yourself doing when you grow up?

Some had visions of dream careers. But one of my daughter’s friends answered with a chilling simplicity: “I’m just going to find somebody rich to marry, and that will be that.”  I had to take a pregnant pause. I finally asked, “Wouldn’t you be more fulfilled by creating your own riches?”

I know this isn’t a new thought, but lately, the pattern has left me profoundly unsettled. I’ve watched close friends navigate devastating divorces after years of relying on a partner, only to see them left completely vulnerable when the “knight” decides to ride off with someone new. I’ve had colleagues casually mention that their friends actively seek older partners in hopes of being perpetually “taken care of.”

This isn’t about age gaps or judging personal choices. It’s about the cultural conditioning that tells women success is found through a man, not by ourselves. It’s the lingering myth that a man on a white horse will sweep us off to a castle where we can live passively ever after.What is wrong with that picture? Why do we still believe we need rescuing?

As a woman in my 40s, reflecting on my journey, the answer is clear: We are capable of creating our own happily ever after.  If I could speak to my younger self—or to any young woman today—I wouldn’t change a thing about my drive. I would keep the focus on my education, my career, and my financial independence.

If you are fortunate enough to partner with someone where you choose not to work, that is a gift—but you must still create your own magic. You need something that is yours. You need the security and the confidence that comes from knowing you can take care of yourself.

Is it a confidence issue? Is it a self-esteem barrier that makes us look for a parachute instead of building our own plane? I don’t know the answer, but I know what the solution is: Independence is the ultimate safety net. We don’t need a rescue culture. We need a support culture.

It is time to stop tearing each other down and start holding each other up. We are strong. We are fierce. We are goddesses. And goddesses don’t compete; they collaborate.  Let’s change the narrative in our circles, in our homes, and in our social media feeds.

We aren’t trying to eliminate men from our lives; we are simply insisting on partners. We want equals who are worthy of being on our team. We want someone to share the journey with, not someone to pay the fare.  Ladies, it is okay to be strong. It is okay to be financially secure. Let’s make sure our circle is full of strong women who empower one another, who have a hand on each other’s backs, and who face the world together—unsettled, independent, and absolutely unstoppable.

What is one proactive step—big or small—you are taking this week to build your own castle (instead of waiting for the key)? Share your goal below!

 Who is the “goddess” in your circle who needs to read this reminder? Tag her below, and tell us how you plan to “hold her up” this week.

#UnSettled #FinancialIndependence #CreateYourOwnRiches #SelfMadeWoman #FierceWomen #WomenInFinance #Empowerment #GoddessCode #StopWaitingForTheRescue #SheCanDoIt  #WomensCircle #CollaborationOverCompetition #SupportYourSisters#AdultingIsHard #ModernDating #Feminist #PersonalGrowth