#Unsettled

This  upcoming year, the walls of my home are going to feel a little thinner and the halls a little quieter. There’s a massive shift coming to my family dynamic—two of my three little birds are officially flying the nest, leaving only my daughter behind. But the change that’s hitting me the hardest? The one I didn’t see coming? My ‘Car Line Era’ is ending. My baby starts driving herself this year. I’ve spent the last two decades of my life in a school parking lot, and suddenly, the engine is off and the idling is over.

If you know, you know. If school gets out at 2:45 PM, you don’t show up at 2:45. You’re there at 1:45 PM, or you’re relegated to the back of a mile-long chain of idling SUVs and “chaos.” We sit there—a community of parents behind glass—scrolling emails, reading books, and killing time until that bell rings. For twenty years, my life has been measured in car lengths. 

But here’s a truth… The car line wasn’t just a chore; it was a sanctuary.  It’s where I get “the tea.” It’s the 20-minute drive home where the headphones come off, the gossip from the hallways comes out, and I get to just be in their presence. It’s the transition from “student” back to “my kids.”

But now, with the finish line in sight. My youngest, my baby, is getting her license. Next year, she’ll be the one behind the wheel.  I’ve already gotten a preview of that this current school year, as her senior brother often takes her to and from school.

I’ve lived and died by a regimented schedule for almost a quarter of a century. Wake up, breakfast, lunches, coffee, drop-off, workout, bills, dinner prep—and then the “Pause.” My entire life has been on a permanent pause button between the hours of 1:30 and 3:00 PM.

And now? The pause is gone.

I’m gaining 2.5 hours back every single day. In total transparency: it’s giving me anxiety. When you’ve been a professional “manager of tiny humans” for so long, sudden freedom feels less like a vacation and more like being disoriented. I’m no longer idling in a car, but I feel like I’m idling in my life.

I look at the moms with 9-to-5 jobs and wonder how they do it—I’ve always envied that superpower. But now, I’m searching for my own.  

I’m realizing that time is a gift, but only if you know how to wrap it. So I’m taking advantage of this new gift.  I’ve started writing more. I’ve launched this blog. I’m meditating. I’m trying to be intentional about who gets my energy now that my kids don’t need my “shuttle service” anymore.

Our kids will always need us, but the way they need us is changing, evolving.

To the Moms still in their car line era…If you’re sitting in that line right now, frustrated and checking your watch: Savor it. Savor the silence before the door slams shut. Savor the “tea.” Savor the messy crumbs in the backseat. Because one day soon, you’re going to put the car in drive, head home, and realize the seat next to you is empty.

The “Car Line Era” is ending for me. It’s time for my Second Act.

So, I have to ask: If you suddenly had 2.5 hours of your life back everyday, what would you do? Are you traveling, starting a business, or just learning how to “be”? Tell me your Second Act plans in the comments.