#Unsettled

There is a distinct difference between being nice and being kind.

On the surface, they sound like synonyms. But in reality, being nice carries almost no weight at all. Nice is passive, polite, and often performed just to save face or get through an interaction smoothly. Kind, on the other hand, comes straight from the heart. Nice keeps people at a comfortable distance. Kind builds a bridge.

I’ve been guilty of both. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opted for “nice” just to speed a conversation along. But lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the energy we put out into the universe—and how intentionally choosing kindness actually changes the landscape around us.

My parents taught me the art of giving early on, but my mother was the master builder. Whether through our church, local charities, or helping a neighbor, she didn’t just host fundraisers—she hosted friend-raisers. She understood that bringing people together around a shared purpose creates a ripple effect that lasts far longer than any single check or event. Decades later, the people she brought into my childhood world are still embedded in my life.

When I lost her in my twenties, I was left navigating the world as a young, grieving mom without her mother. But God quickly surrounded me with a new circle of mentors who picked up the torch.

When my husband played for the New York Mets, I was taken under the wings of veteran MLB wives who showed me what active stewardship looked like on a massive scale. They operated from a simple, grounding premise: We are deeply blessed, so it is our responsibility to give back.

When we were traded to Houston—a place that felt like returning to the motherland—I was pregnant with my first child, and my mom was actively undergoing cancer treatments there. In the middle of that tender, overwhelming season, my mother’s best friend (whose husband was the general manager of the Astros) took my hand over lunch and made a promise: “I’m going to introduce you to a group of women, and they are going to become your sisters.”

She was right. These Astro wives rallied around the Women’s Crisis Center in Houston, throwing our hearts into an annual gala that raised hundreds of thousands of dollars. More importantly, we formed a core bond that outlasted trade deadlines, team changes, and geographic moves.

That experience cemented my personal compass. My heart will always belong to advocating for women and children.

Today, that same philosophy guides me in my local community. Along with other local charitable organizations, I devote a significant amount of my time to Silver Coffee, an organization dedicated to raising funds for children in need. This week’s photo was taken at Silver Coffee’s annual event. The organization itself has been running for half a century, and I am so grateful for the women I’ve met along the way.

What I love most about this picture is that the two women with me aren’t just colleagues. They are “new” friends—women who exist outside my everyday path, whom I only met because I chose to step outside my bubble and join this shared mission. This is what modern “friend-raising” looks like. It’s holding hands in genuine connection while working toward a common good—reminding me of the true power of passing wisdom down.

At a recent luncheon, a veteran Silver Coffee committee member sent me a short video clip that broke down the psychology of “nice vs. kind.” It resonated completely.

As fate would have it, a few days later, I was standing in the aisle at the grocery store when a complete stranger walked up to me. She told me she reads my blog every week and shared how much my words meant to her.

My immediate, muscle-memory reaction was to just be nice—to smile, say a polite “thank you,” and move on with my shopping trip. But my friend’s words echoed in my head. Nice vs. Kind.

Nice would have closed the door. Kindness demanded that I show up, be present, and acknowledge the vulnerability it took for her to walk up to a stranger. I stopped, looked her in the eye, and let myself feel the genuine weight of her words. In that split second, I realized that putting my authentic self out into the world had actually reached someone else’s heart. I was filled with immense gratitude—not just that people are reading, but that connection is happening.

Giving back isn’t reserved for grand galas or massive non-profit budgets. It happens in the quiet, everyday choice to trade polite pleasantries for real human presence.

Karma isn’t just a vague concept about getting back what you give—it’s the living, breathing reality that the energy we offer shapes the world we have to live in. A world full of polite, nice people is fine. But a world driven by intentional, active kindness? That changes everything.

To the woman in the grocery store, and to everyone reading this week: thank you for letting me share my heart with you. My hope for you today is simple—don’t just settle for being nice. Choose to be kind, and watch how it pays itself forward.