#Unsettled

Now that the school year has officially kicked off, I’ve been trying to force myself back into a routine. But if I’m being completely honest with you? I’m having a much tougher time making the adjustment than I’d like to admit.

There’s always that sweet, hazy stretch at the end of summer where nobody really knows what day of the week it is. You sleep in a little later, the calendar isn’t screaming at you, and time just kind of floats. Then, suddenly, August hits. The alarm goes off, and it’s time to “lock in”—as my daughter likes to say.

Except snapping back into reality hasn’t been a quick snap. It’s been a slow, grueling drag.

The moment the fall schedule takes over, my brain instantly shifts into overdrive. I look around and see all the little house projects that didn’t get finished over the summer, and a sudden panic sets in. I start thinking, I need to get everything done RIGHT NOW. Because before I know it, it’s going to be the holidays, then spring, and then I’m right back on this endless merry-go-round of life.

I am notoriously hard on myself. And if I’m being completely transparent, I’m probably harder than I’d like to admit on those around me, too. I just expect everybody to give 100% all the time—myself included. I don’t give myself grace. I don’t build in breathing room. I just push through.

The ironic part? I preach about this all the time. I’ve written post after post on the importance of self-care, filling your own cup, and setting boundaries. But I’m human. I have a bad habit of over-committing myself, packing my calendar to the brim, and completely forgetting to practice what I preach. I get so caught up in running the play that I forget to check if I even have the energy to run.

Until a few weeks ago, when a friend of mine changed my perspective with a simple morning routine.

She had recently moved into a new home and started checking off a list of backyard improvements—one of which was adding a hot tub. As we were chatting on the phone, she mentioned how she’d begun carving out a little self-care space for herself every single morning. She’d go for her morning walk, step into the hot tub for 10 or 15 minutes, sip her coffee, and just sit in the quiet.

She called it her daily moment of giving herself grace.

As I hung up the phone, I looked out my back window at my own hot tub—sitting there completely unused in the backyard oasis I’d worked so hard to create.

It had literally never occurred to me to get into the hot tub in the morning with a cup of coffee. To me, hot tub time was strictly an end-of-the-day thing with a glass of wine. But by the time the end of the day actually rolls around? I’m so exhausted that the thought of going outside feels like work, so I tell myself, Maybe tomorrow. And “tomorrow” never comes.

So, the next morning, after my walk and workout, I decided to test her theory.

Now, because I live in Florida and it’s currently hotter than Hades outside, I didn’t turn on the heat. I just stepped into the water, turned the bubbles on, held my mug of coffee, and sat there in the quiet.

It was absolute bliss.

No phone notifications. No mental checklist of chores. Just 15 minutes of uninterrupted solitude before my over-scheduled day (which, in full transparency, is completely of my own doing) came calling. I loved it so much that I did it again the next day (and immediately texted my friend to report that I was officially a convert).

Here’s what I realized while sitting in that water: it was never really about the hot tub. It was about the simple, radical act of realizing that your batteries need to be recharged before you drain them, not just after you’ve run yourself into the ground.

It’s so easy to fall into the habit of waking up, hitting the ground running, and immediately pouring yourself into everyone else’s needs. We tell ourselves we’ll rest when everything is done. But newsflash to my fellow perfectionists: the list is never done.

So this is your gentle reminder, hard-working mamas (and a reminder to myself, because clearly I need to hear it too): it is okay to give yourself a little bit of grace. It is okay to take 10 or 15 minutes in the morning—whatever that looks like for you—to just sit, breathe, and exist before the day demands everything else from you.

Drink the coffee. Turn on the bubbles. Enjoy the quiet. The day can wait 15 minutes.